first, I do not care who reads this. I do not care  if it is read. This is something that I need to get out of my chest. Don't care.When I created this site Xanga was a way popular site than it is now. Today it is a dying cespool of irrelevancy. When I was here on Xanga , it was in a Bronze age of things that I enjoyed. Xanga, suffering from a loss of members to Myspace, was a vibrant place to be. Like Livejournal and many real blogs, Xanga lets you be creative. Something that many other social media sites do not let you do. I was never here to be social. I like to write and that what is attracted me about this all. Xanga let me do this.

Anyway, Yulon was an idea I created out of thin air. It was an idea that took a personality of its own. I created Matthew Huron to be an asshole to people. I created Yulon to make that asshole into a character that people would see as larger than life. Luckily when I got here, there were many other larger than life characters like Thundar Cleese, Mrcheap, Mrdaruis, Sucko the clown who had many troll-esque styles of their own. I figured that since they were doing it that it would give me more justification to do it. Before interacting with them, there was something that I needed to do before. That was create my reputation. I created Matthew Huron to represent what was so old and wrong with America. A young know-it all blonde Republican whose bigotry and hate for different walks of life made him intolerable. In my mind this Blonde was an alpha male who deep down was a man who wanted all the light on him. 

Yulon, however, was a different story. Yulon was a freak. A man who could get deep inside your skin with the sick things that he can do. Did it work? no. Matthew Huron took center stage because Yulon was not the main character. When I created my first post, I simply only needed a good twenty minutes to be able to receive 101 comments. I knew from that moment that the site itself could work because I had created a character that people loved to hate. From then I was able to create a large ,rather small in hindsight, commotion to people's lives. I made Yulon into a teamplayer by teaming up with many other, what we call, "flamers" and starting flame factions to fight other flame factions. I was able to debate politics, make friendships, be known on Xanga. But was it all worth it? Yes. I regret nothing around here.

What I do regret is that I was never able to take the character of Matthew Huron/Yulon out of Xanga. I regret that people forgot how cool blogs were before things like facebook came along. I regret that compared to 2012, 2006 looks like fucking sparta. I regret that I would rather listen to Fallout boy today then listen to Nicki Minaj, Lil wayne, Lady Gaga, Justin Bieber, or any of that horrible music. Maybe this old character needs to come out of retirement.+++

I was  debating a feminist over a very heated argument over what she percieved as a new era in movie making: Twilight. I, being very curious, decided to see both movies and have a true honest opinion on what this franchise is ( I didn't watch both movies  completely instead decided to watch Crimson Tide with Denzel Washington, one kick ass movie.) The first one was so fucking boring that I had to walk out of the room and jerk off to its inane tripe. why'd I jerk off? I was also horny after picturing a scene in Interview with the vampire. To break it down for you, it's an uninspired piece of shit borderlining on stupid. The author wrote a book so full of errors and erotic fantasies. Except the fanbase doesn't want to admit that they've been brainwashed by a horrible author, partly because the word brainwash has never been explained to them. To show you how a movie is made, I will show you the movie Crimson Tide.

A CRISIS GOES ON IN THIS PLACE

It's explained that America will likely be involved, and WW3 may start because of it.

A NAVY COMMANDER IS CALLED TO BE THE XO ABOARD A SHIP CALLED THE ALABAMA

As you can see by him shaking the new captain's hand, signifying a command relationship

THEY ARE DEPLOYED HERE TO BE READY TO LAUNCH MISSLES IN CASE THE RUSSIANS DO ANYTHING THAT DECLARES WHAT SMART PEOPLE CALL WAR

Did I mention the ship is called the Alabama, its a Navy ship, and it's a submarine ( all you need to know)

COMMANDER HUNTER ( DENZEL) is XO FOR A COUPLE OF DAYS AND REALLY LEARNS THE VALUE OF LEADERSHIP WHEN A PETTY OFFICER ( enlisted man) gets in a fight over this----

It's explained in later scenes that crew morale has dropped, and when mr. hunter brings this to his captain's attention, the captain shrugs it off as a sign of HE CAN CARE LESS. The two men's different approach has them on edge, Denzel is MR. cautious and Mr.Hackman is Mr.non cautious, tensions is apparent

MEANWHILE SOME OTHER STUFF HAPPENS AND WE GET TO THE WHOLE POINT OF THE PLOT. THE CAPTAIN HAS BEEN GIVEN ORDER BY THIS (DOWN HERE) TO BASICALLY NUKE THE RUSSIANS AFTER THE SHIP FINDS A RUSSIAN SHIP CALLED THE AKULA CLASS.

 The second message is broken, and unable to read, however the captain wants to go through with the missle launch, denzel doesn't ----- a conflict arises out of a difference of opinion. It's revealed to us that the launch must be authorized by an XO and the captain,  an argument ensues- denzel relieves the captain of his duties basically quoting navy law and having a senior officer back him up, who is friendly to the captain by the way.

MEANWHILE THE AKULA CLASS VESSEL IS DESTROYED, BUT BEFORE IT GOES DOWN IT SHOOTS A MISSLE AT ALABAMA-- the ship is hit bad. Meanwhile after the battle, the captain escapes confinement thanks to Tony Soprano and Aragorn ( or actors who played them). The captain retakes this

Denzel and all those who are loyal to him are thrown in the mess hall ( the place where military people eat), but thanks to Denzel being so close to the enlisted men ( he is freed). The captain almost suceeds in doing this

However, denzel convinces Aragorn to stall. A fight ensues on the bridge of the ship, and while communication is restored it is revealed that peace has been won, the nuclear missles are no longer needed.

THE END TAKES PLACE IN A COURT, HUNTER IS GIVEN COMMAND OF THE ALABAMA BECAUSE HACKMAN RESIGNED. THE TWO OFFICERS SHAKE HANDS, NO HARM IS DONE EXCEPT TO THOSE WHO DIED IN THE WATER.

Very simple. No doubt made to entertain , but also made to thrill you.

The point of Twilight, if I got the point at all, was to show you this teen girl who falls in love with a vampire who constantly tells her to stay away from him, but keeps telling her that over and over again. After saving her from a car, and not explaining it, she discovers he is a vampire ( through god knows what kind of info a teen girl can access to discover such an anormous feat all by herself..... on an internet monitored by various government agencies, pedophiles, and people who write crappy facebook statuses.) They fall in love. she meets his crazy family---- see crazy family below.

A baseball game ensues. Some other stuff. decided after so many minutes, the characters didn't drag me in enough. They were all weird. Never did much, except maybe for the only character who did do something

Maybe it's not in my taste, but is it seriously in anyone's taste. At least anyone who knows how the hell a movie is made.

You see folks, the problem with Twilight is that it doesn't give itself time to grow. While the first Twilight was shit, literally shit, they decided to do something called "turbo nostalgia". It's happening in a lot of franchises including video games, music, writing. It's defined as defining itself as classic when it has none of the following.

1.) Time ( while time is the fire that burns giving a franchise time to take deep breaths between a sequel can improve overall reception.) with Twilight I wasn't sure if what I was viewing was a Saturday afternoon Sci fi pic or an actual shitty scripted movie. I mean even the most interesting movie gave itself time to breath. Remember that summer where Darth Vader revealed himself as Luke's father ( of course you don't, you didn't exist) the next time you saw the conclusion was two-three years later. This is clear evidence that Twilight's big corporate slugs know that the movie is losing interest fast. If you don't believe me, fuck you.

2.) Actual memorable characters, quotes, and locations. None of this is in the movie. In fact it's only memorable in the eyes of its dumb small minded fans. What the movie producers should be asking you is: will you remember Bella and Fred in ten years and know their lines by heart? The sad fact is, you're not. You will be too busy failing at life.

3.) Will you be ready for the many spin-offs, prequels, sequels, tri-prequels, tri-sequels, video games, mobile phone ringtones, toys, bookbags, and soundtracks when the movie concludes the love affair between vampire and women?  You know it. The werewolves are already discussing spin offs ( unofficial source) , but what the fuck are they worthy of getting their own spin off. You have to be really memorable to have your own spin off.

People who suceeded in spin offs

Frasier Crane from "Cheers"

Frasier Crane from "Cheers"

George Jefferson from " all in the family" and most of the eccentric characters from that show.

The David E. Kelly universe

People who have failed in it

JOEY

MORK

THE TORTELLIS

THE CLEAVLAND SHOW

Just finished giving Avatar a fair chance to be seen without my biased hate for it when I saw it actually beat The Dark knight in the box office. Here's my honest to god review about this whole sick and abscurd pretentious piece of bologne shit.In all honesty it's not as bad as I expected, but it ain't the fucking bee's knees.

 PLOT: The plot is what defines the a film, aside from having a name star in it. Most plots in sci-fi movies are able to take us to the unexplored frontiers of cinema. Movies like Star wars took us to a land of imagination, style, passion. Space odyssey took us to heights that sci fi has never gone before. What makes a plot good is when you have your audience want to be involved in the film. To be honest it was fucking abscurd that people actually wanted to be involved in this plagiaristic shit hole. Avatar's plot took us to a whole new level of stupid. The whole plot wasn't even a plot, but an excuse to used extensive CGi. What James Cameron did my retarded nephew with a fucking fetus on his chest could've done in a 30 minute episode.

                               He decided to throw in a plot full of so many fucking holes that it's  lucky the fat bastard big movie execs didn't get sucked into it. Here's what's wrong with the whole idea of the film.

1.) While the Navi's only have spears, we have all our latest modern day weapons boosted up by a hundred years, mech assault robots, missle scanners, 22nd century medicine, fully trained marines.... and for a while it was all good. UNTIL all of a sudden with all our advances in technology we lose a already won battle. GEE how convenient.

                      A.) People say it's because of all the HEART that the Navi' got. Bullshit. Ask run-with-fire what we did when he tried to display his heart.

                     B) They say it's because they knew the mountains and shit more than we did. Ask run-with-fire what we did when he displayed his knowledge of the trees. I'll answer that for you. We sent them to a beautiful place called BARREN Desert, but since they're was probably no BARREN DESERT in navia, or navi land, we could send them to mine that rock ( which so conveniently was an allegory for the oil we are killing for in Iraq) we pay millions for.

REAL REASON: James Cameron wants to be the first god in history to have a indigenous land beat a superior imperialistic one. It makes the audience feel better, it makes the ones that were really slaughtered feel better, and it is such a right thing to do. In all honesty I could fucking understand why the rebels in Star Wars won their 30 year war against the galactic empire. It's simple and mostly easy if you aren't a moron. No matter how in touch with nature you are ( Navi being in touch with  nature so much they download things out of it) no matter how spartan and cat like you are. No matter how much HEART you have. IF you don't have the technology, you are fucked. You could basically save yourself the sweat and kill yourself. Ewoks aside, the rebels were in par with technology except maybe they didn't have a death star to blow things up with, but hey they always had skilled pilots ready to blow that up. These blue monkey barely had the ability to shoot their arrows through the machines that were killing them, except when it was part of the plot. Like near the end when the Navi get the plot powers to shoot through what appears to be , if we in the 22nd century are still a paranoid and defensive people, bullet proof glass. Before that event they couldn't get through them when they were shooting several, but all of a sudden one jumping blue monkey is able to shoot through glass. That would be fine if they explained how the fuck they did that.

2.) This was a poorly written film dialogue wise. The dialogue felt as if it were written by someone who didn't know what the fuck human interaction feels like. Especially the fucking antagonist, human war lover 95 with the convenient cool looking scar. The guy talks like he's from ww2 or something. I would think in the 22nd century, being a totally different century, he would sound more different, but of course we're suppose to be forced into knowing he's the villain. I liked my movies when I was able to tell who was the villain. Khan, vader, every James Bond villain. You see these characters come with something called a motive. Thei language is part of it. You see Ricardo montalban as Khan gave this excellent motive, he wants to kill the protagonist because he wants revenge for a wrong doing. This fucking antagonist had no langauge, no motive, he was there as an allegory. He wants to kill the Navi because he just wants to kill them. But enough about the antagonist, let's talk about the protagonist. This guy who played the wheelchair dude looked like he read his lines off a stripper's tits when he found out she had a peg leg. It's delivered with emotionless style that you can't ever connect with him or feel him as a character. He delivers his dialogue in a way that was such a let down, I thought I was relieving that week in high school where all the girls were wanting to get on me, but I had a special little problem. Let's talk about the direction of the Navi in terms of dialogue. When we first see these things they don't know english, then we find out some know english, then later on we find out they mostly know english.  I haven't been this confused since my girlfriend told me it was her not me. It seems they know what was convenient for the plot. Like war chants, discussing events, and all the basic stuff that a story naturally propels by making sense. Like do you remember when a movie like this made sense dialogue wise? you see back in the old days, a movie made sense dialogue wise. I remember when Han Solo said he made the kessel run in less than 12 parsecs, and we were like. what the fuck parsecs is distance . It still made sense since people were like, well he took a shortcut. 

Characters ( and their bullshit)

It is completely a shame when a cinema needs to spoon feed you the chemistry between characters. In a movie like Avatar, the chemistry is so fucking force fed it made me go through Star wars/Trek withdraw. In 2 hours, I haven't heard one memorable line that i can quote for the rest of my life. Like characters with chemistry should have, a memorable quote. I was sadly angered when the military guy didn't say something like : " I am your daddy"  or " yippie ky a , mothertrucker." To insult me more they decided to make the whole movie one dimensional, like it was a terrible sci fi movie with absolutely no depth to it whats so ever. Characters act like talking CGI machines. wheelchair guy doesn't make me care unless he's blue and killing something. military man doesn't make me care unless he's in his mech assault armor. It's cinema rape. It's like the movie studio forgot that what made a good movie was the characters and the plot. Cause I don't definitely watch fucking Star trek because it's action or watch star wars because it's pure action. I watch them to take me to a world where people are loyal.

                              I remember as a child I could relate to the friendship that both respected franchises had. Imagine a world where your friends aren't money grubbing, disloyal, and dishonest. That's what we basically got for both of the best sci fis ever made. A group of characters with depth, personality, and  friendship. Ask yourself what you got from Avatar? cause you definitely didn't get a sense of depth to its characters. You got characters who spoke to each other before a dazzling action scene. The Characters were so understated that you could basically put the cast of the breakfast club, and it wouldn't matter.

                                   The only character who i could sorta relate to was the corporate guy. You see while others are like, kill, he's like I don't give a shit. I want to make money through any means. That is at  least an admirable trait in someone in a movie about making us feel guilty for killing natives.

Overall

I don't think this movie is the plan 9 of our time. It's true that this titanic making bastard enhanced cgi, but we can question if enhancing the special effects of a movie makes it a better movie? It doesn't. I like a movie that becomes a classic by not manipulating us into thinking we are a stupid inbred race. A movie with a smartly done story should be enough. Not some mind numbng dumb action. connect with characters. That's why Star wars failed when it tried to release the prequels. In the 1st act of the trilogy, it became a boring talk about politics with no connection with the characters, and when it became a 2nd act it was a pure action thrill with no connection to the characters until we were left with an ending we knew was going to happen. Except when it did happen we were left with this feeling like maybe it wasn't so thrilling as the first trilogy. In order to be really remembered, because face it the movie didn't really win Titanic in the box office, it has to dish out all the guns in the second act. Don't make the political agenda so fucking obvious. Develop the characters. Don't use CGI when you can't do a scene so well. Try to make characters that we will remember when we are on our deathbed. I will always remember who Han solo and darth Vader are. I will remember captain Kirk and Mr.Spock, but it is because they suprised me. In a way Avatar has that same potential even though it was made by a total douche bag. I give Avatar two out of 10.